Words and Loneliness

I know this. I know that loneliness can be strong. Can appear when you’re surrounded and when you’re alone. Can appear suddenly in times of happiness. Like a tsunami bursting through the peace and rest of the night. Tranquility. Turning all to chaos and stealing beings from their slumber. Replacing them with sadness. Loneliness can swallow you. Anchor you deep into darkness.

I know this too. That loneliness is lifted by time spent in God’s Word. Not just in prayer but in His Words. Turning to Him. Talking with Him. Listening to Him. His Word holds many Treasures.

I am so grateful for His Word. Brings me life. His Life. Light.

Forward Together

The only way forward is together. When we continue to lift and separate by the color of our skin, the roots of our ancestors, and even attributes of monetary value, we are simply repeating history. Nothing new. Nothing revolutionary. Quite boring, trite and close minded to be honest. But when we lift all. Together. As one. Value placed on kindness, truth, and character. Unselfish love. That’s when we will truly move forward. That is where revolution is. That is where bravery lives and a bright future for all lies.

Nothing New

The world has been here before… Pandemics and war and fear of wars… Leaving some behind and forcing others forward… There’s nothing new of today… The world has been here before…

It is not an excuse to be complacent but a reason to breathe… Nothing positive is accomplished with fear and anxiety… So take a deep breath and pray…

The only thing you have control over is what you see in front of you… So leave the world to your prayers and work where you see…

Overtime and with hindsight we will see how we move… Slowly forward with a few steps back because there is nothing new the world hasn’t seen…

If you need a reminder, put Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” 1989 and dance out your stress out like no one is watching you.

Who/What is to Blame?

It is not the white man… It is not religion… In general, humans have a memory of 300 years past and look approximately only 100 years in the future… What it is is greed… Every country has a native people… Every country was built by slaves and the lowest class… North America is always heavily under the microscope because it is the baby of all countries… And that’s the broadest humans, in general, think in regards to time…

We should be lifting us, mankind, up all as one… Push forward with unity and not division in the likes of BLM and AAPI… Push forward lifting kindness, truth and love… Not riots, screaming and pointing fingers… Acknowledge that truth is no political party has the answer, no ethnicity is king or queen over another, truth isn’t “your truth” but it is THE TRUTH… And take a good look at one another and see one another as family, friend.. Not needing to agree on all things but wanting to live in harmony with one another… Harmony is a flow of many different ideas vibing in unison towards the goal of peace and love…

Find similarities and come together… Celebrate differences… Unite as ONE against greed, hate and ignorance. This is the only way forward.

All you can do is ok

I started this section to share the studies I’ve done… To study them again with you… Learn new things… See new things… But summer has been rough… And rough is an understatement…

Little energy to give so my in depth Bible studying sort of faded… Everyday, though, I read the verse of the day and I talked to God and gave thanks for anything beautiful… Always feeling like I was failing, not doing enough, inept…

Now I see how much that helped and how much I needed that… I need Him… It’s okay to not be consistent in how you study or the in depthness of the study… What’s important is to connect with God, daily, however you can… However much you are able… Some days it will be more and others less… Just connect and walk with Him as much as you possibly can… And that’s ok

Do Over

I was laying by my daughter as she was sleeping… Found myself wishing for a ‘do over’… I knew exactly the moment in time I wanted it to begin… A ‘do over’… To prevent all the crap my choices put us through that brought us to now… Not that now is bad… We both fought for now… But the fight was unnecessary due to my choices… As I lay there envisioning my ‘do over’… I began to picture changing things… And trying to prevent the struggles of others…

That’s when I realized… A would screw up my ‘do over’… Creating the same mistakes I did before… Trying to ease the pain and prevent the struggling of others… More specifically those who do not want help or are not ready for help… Slowly but surely leading the path of the last decade of mine and my daughter’s life right back to another request for a ‘do over’…

No ‘do over’ please… Someone else can have that… I’m ready to move forward… Living off the lessons I learned from that decade… Ask God first and if I move always with Him, then all steps are of Light and forward movement… Surround myself with kindness and positivity… Choose joy over sadness… Some days it is a constant choice while others joy flows with ease… To not attach myself to a sinking ship or be a soldier in a war that is not mine… And to KNOW that it is okay… I was not created to save every sinking ship or fight every war… I was created to live the path God paved for me… And I need to stop getting in the way of that.

Check your form…

With life, as with running and yoga, when you start to hurt, feel unsteady, or fall, check your form…

Check your feet… Have a strong foundation and build strong roots…

Check your heart… Relax your shoulders from your ears and send your heart out towards the sky… Anchor your heart in goodness, kindness and all things of Light…

Head up and lifted towards the heavens… Focus your thoughts on truth and integrity…

Slow down and breathe… Find your center… The journey is just as important, if not more so, than the finish line.

…limited sight

Most only think and form views within a limited span of time… 100 years forward and 300 years backwards… Truth is that it, injustice, is not a racial problem stemming from the white man towards the black man… It is not Christian vs Muslim vs Hindu vs Buddhist et al… It is not male vs female… Rather it stems from greed, hate or misguided faith… Or all three… Humans have battled for thousands of years… Tables turning as if locked in a dance of rituals… If your sight is limited, the dance will never change… The leading partner simply flips only to be flipped back within a few generations… For change to come in this world, be of good value as well as root itself within its people, we must have better vision… See and understand our entire history while thinking many generations ahead… Understanding instead of blaming… Loving, truly loving, instead of hating… Seeking wisdom instead of knowledge

a change of heart and mind

We are all sheep to something. Each of us. The question is: “Who is your S(s)hephard?”

I deleted the original… Not because I think there’s no truth to the video I posted… Not that I think the entirety of the video is truth… Just something about posting any thoughts, no matter the lean of the content, does not sit well with me… So maybe what I am saying, mostly to myself, my Shepherd is The Lord… What happens in this world I have very little control over… My shepherd will not be the manic media, conspiracy theories, social media, fear, a human, an animal, gossip, anything of the like… My Shepherd will be The One Who created the stars… My energy out put I want to be that of love and light, short of the “Down the Rabbit Hole” section (which is simply about my life with mental illness, a tender heart, full of self doubt…my personal journey) which may seem like a rollercoaster ride of sorts

what am i to learn…

i am well acquainted with darkness…the idea of death as a peaceful event…the majority of my life we walked side by side…as though twins-shadows of one another…darkness so dark it was akin to light…for me, that is…with this illness spreading throughout this earth like wild fire on the most windy of days, death now seems foreign to me and darkness is an entity from which I would like to be severed from…for now, at least…while i believe darkness to be a gift, it is a heavy gift to live with at the current moment…so i choose to learn…to become more acquainted with light and The Light…i choose to take this time…”sit” and get to know light…on an intimate level…one day the chaos of this will pass…i will welcome darkness back…but, in faith, i will carry with me light as well…both intimately…creating in me a more balanced being…for “I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses.” Friedrich Nietzsche Thus Spoke Zarathustra