Do Over

I was laying by my daughter as she was sleeping… Found myself wishing for a ‘do over’… I knew exactly the moment in time I wanted it to begin… A ‘do over’… To prevent all the crap my choices put us through that brought us to now… Not that now is bad… We both fought for now… But the fight was unnecessary due to my choices… As I lay there envisioning my ‘do over’… I began to picture changing things… And trying to prevent the struggles of others…

That’s when I realized… A would screw up my ‘do over’… Creating the same mistakes I did before… Trying to ease the pain and prevent the struggling of others… More specifically those who do not want help or are not ready for help… Slowly but surely leading the path of the last decade of mine and my daughter’s life right back to another request for a ‘do over’…

No ‘do over’ please… Someone else can have that… I’m ready to move forward… Living off the lessons I learned from that decade… Ask God first and if I move always with Him, then all steps are of Light and forward movement… Surround myself with kindness and positivity… Choose joy over sadness… Some days it is a constant choice while others joy flows with ease… To not attach myself to a sinking ship or be a soldier in a war that is not mine… And to KNOW that it is okay… I was not created to save every sinking ship or fight every war… I was created to live the path God paved for me… And I need to stop getting in the way of that.

a change of heart and mind

We are all sheep to something. Each of us. The question is: “Who is your S(s)hephard?”

I deleted the original… Not because I think there’s no truth to the video I posted… Not that I think the entirety of the video is truth… Just something about posting any thoughts, no matter the lean of the content, does not sit well with me… So maybe what I am saying, mostly to myself, my Shepherd is The Lord… What happens in this world I have very little control over… My shepherd will not be the manic media, conspiracy theories, social media, fear, a human, an animal, gossip, anything of the like… My Shepherd will be The One Who created the stars… My energy out put I want to be that of love and light, short of the “Down the Rabbit Hole” section (which is simply about my life with mental illness, a tender heart, full of self doubt…my personal journey) which may seem like a rollercoaster ride of sorts

Letting go of parts…

we can make a difference in this world…but first we have to let go of the roles that are not ours…bombarded by media, worries, time crunches, life demands and so much more, we become overwhelmed and see no light no hope…but if we step back and see that we are one part of a bigger picture…and we let go of the parts that are not ours, in faith, and truly focus and utilize our part/our gift…eventually, with time, there is progress and positive differences are made…one cannot do anything effectively and efficiently when one is playing multiple roles one was not designed for…it’s like a Monet painting…up close, it looks like just a bunch of random little swooshes…but take a step back…you begin to see how each swoosh is a part of this beautiful painting…and each swoosh is vital to the beauty of the painting…so breathe…let go…utilize your gift…start locally…there will be a time when you step back and you see and say “Aha! I see it now!”

1 Corinthians 12-27 – “The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.”


One Body with Many Parts: Taken from http://www.biblegateway.com