I was laying by my daughter as she was sleeping… Found myself wishing for a ‘do over’… I knew exactly the moment in time I wanted it to begin… A ‘do over’… To prevent all the crap my choices put us through that brought us to now… Not that now is bad… We both fought for now… But the fight was unnecessary due to my choices… As I lay there envisioning my ‘do over’… I began to picture changing things… And trying to prevent the struggles of others…

That’s when I realized… A would screw up my ‘do over’… Creating the same mistakes I did before… Trying to ease the pain and prevent the struggling of others… More specifically those who do not want help or are not ready for help… Slowly but surely leading the path of the last decade of mine and my daughter’s life right back to another request for a ‘do over’…

No ‘do over’ please… Someone else can have that… I’m ready to move forward… Living off the lessons I learned from that decade… Ask God first and if I move always with Him, then all steps are of Light and forward movement… Surround myself with kindness and positivity… Choose joy over sadness… Some days it is a constant choice while others joy flows with ease… To not attach myself to a sinking ship or be a soldier in a war that is not mine… And to KNOW that it is okay… I was not created to save every sinking ship or fight every war… I was created to live the path God paved for me… And I need to stop getting in the way of that.