Raising the last white flag…

I’m done…I cannot keep going…I have tried everything…everything…and I pray all the time and study His word…but I must be missing something that I’m supposed to be grasping or doing because I get worse and I am more of a burden…I have nothing to offer…I’m not going suicidal…but I am exhausted…very literally in all aspects except, ironically, my mental illness…which was the battle for the longest time…I fought it so hard I believe I wore my body down…and with that, my spirit…so I’m done…done with the routine daily life shit, like eating, taking my meds, pretending to be okay and letting everyone believe that I believe their bullshit lies when they smile and say “you’re not a burden” “you’re not worthless”…because fact is that I’m too tired to work…how pathetic is that…and there isn’t much money…so I’m done because I’m broken beyond repair and the sadness is stronger than what’s left of my desire to live